0:00
we got licensed professional mental health counselor our resident therapist right here I love this guy man he flies
0:06
all over the country man for the people give it up absolutely David Weber is in the
0:12
building apprciate what's up what's up happy to have youw neck on you it looks great thank you apprciate man what's
0:18
that Ralph is like that still referring to that
0:24
kany shout out to yay hey um and shout out to your parents
0:30
the Weber family yeah the Weber family yes yeah the Weber family Chris Chris took me in his home I like telling this
0:36
story once and um I went fishing on his pier and caught the first bass cuz I know he can't fish you know the r reals
0:44
were had rust on them you know not the r he didn't have fishing line he had yarn
0:49
in his RS but I was still you know Chris G end up calling here to get you he
0:55
going to get you get dunked on he better but but David um his brother you and your parents are amazing you know and I
1:02
want to shout them out I know do they tune in to you when you they tune in they in the car right now listen to the show what's up M what's up dead they've
1:08
been married their anniversary is coming up 54 years they'll be married years 54 years oh my gosh what a blessing write a
1:16
book bro that's a beautiful streak yeah why are they listening in the car cuz
1:22
technology anything technology they don't you know hey guys downloading on on the phone they in the car right now I
1:29
know the Weber family I know y'all still talking on telephones with cans and long streams but technology has advanced if
1:38
you like Chris I'll get you the app man it's cool man put it on your phone y got you listen in the house they're just
1:44
flopped in the car they was driving yeah Chris is in the car Chris is definitely in the car right now with his wife and
1:50
kids man shout out to e shout out to Erica shout out to sea chis the kids y
1:56
beautiful family y'all got to get the apps wa hook them up I had no idea that
2:01
in 2025 they feel like they got Chris got the whole family in the car everybody in the car they got a picnic
2:07
basket and blankets like okay but hey let's get back to business all right so
2:13
I want to before we take these calls about forgiveness um I want to get back to the Chris Rock and I I really
2:19
appreciate his response um and his his statement about forgiveness what do you
2:24
think it would do to the collective mental health of the community um to see
2:30
Chris and and will sit down in in front of a camera
2:35
and folks could see the the them come back together and talk that out and speak about forgiveness and go back and
2:42
for not on the Oscar stage just on their own stage that conflict that would be great kind of like uh what Magic Johnson
2:48
and Isaiah Thomas did it was powerful it was powerful yeah that type of yeah um
2:55
first off forgiveness doesn't erase the memory yeah right like I still still remember what you did but for him to say
3:03
he lives in forgiveness that's incredible I don't know if I reached that point where I live in forgiveness
3:09
that that's something different I can forgive you it may take me a little bit of time but living in forgiveness is the next level and so definit big shout out
3:17
to him for even being able to say that and speak that and I hope everyone heard that because I definitely heard that today can it how can it counteract the
3:24
impact of seeing that moment over and over and over and over and over and over
3:30
on on all media outlets for so long the zeit guys of the community had to be
3:36
damaged right yeah for sure and and you know how our community is right like we we going to post it and repost it and
3:43
people gonna talk about it and everyone has their opinions about it but the actual person who was harmed is saying
3:49
he forgave him so if that person forgave him then who are we to be still holding grudges and those types of things so I
3:56
think it's powerful David sway citizens I find it interesting that will is in this predicament again if you guys
4:02
remember the fresh prince of Belair reunion he had to do a separate sit down with the original Aunt Viv the The
4:08
Fabulous Janette dubar who he you know admitted at his time where he was you
4:14
know a a big star he had you know the the the power if you will for lack of a
4:20
better word to to kind of put in and out who he wanted to and she ultimately was fired from that show and replaced by
4:26
someone else and that damaged her she said she she was blacklisted she wasn't able to work and do a lot of things so
4:32
he had to go off and then have a separate conversation about forgiveness with her and to Tracy's and sway's point
4:40
that wasn't really put out there a lot either I remember seeing it because I was I was blown away by her being
4:46
replaced on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air everybody loved the original ant Viv but their conversation was so powerful and
4:52
it just didn't you know we needed to see more of that yeah we needed to see more
4:58
see absolutely more of it the representation the visual of it a man and woman sitting down talking about
5:04
forgiveness but also the practice of it because a lot of folks may not have in
5:10
their toolkit like the communication or even understand like the power of the
5:15
environment and how that can create a space that Fosters vulnerability can you
5:20
speak on maybe some um tools Dave that can help with uh Bridging the Gap and
5:27
creating conflict resolution yeah first off if you need a an apology
5:32
to be able to forgive you'll be waiting forever right sometimes you don't get the apology your mother's not going to
5:38
apologize for what she did 25 years ago and you've still been waiting for that apology from your mother you're still
5:44
waiting from the apology from your father and what he did to you or that friend who stole from you or lied on you
5:50
if your forgiveness is predicated upon that person saying I'm sorry that may not come so it has to be something
5:57
internal within you that says you know what regardless of what they do or don't do regardless of whether or not they
6:03
apologize or don't apologize I'm choosing to forgive you for myself for
6:09
my own peace of mind that is difficult to do but it's necessary because you're not going to get what you need from them
6:17
or at least what you think you need from them to forgive them so that has to come from within yourself wow man that's
6:22
David Weber listen if you're looking for amazing therapist and yeah you may never
6:27
have tried one he he comes to well he he flies out here for the people but you can actually you don't have to be in the
6:33
same town right to work with you yeah no definitely not you can um first off hit me up on Instagram if you have any
6:39
questions or need resources in your area that's David Weber LPC um I'm licens in
6:46
several different states just hit me up and um we can we can find some some therapy for you and a quick story I
6:52
hadn't even met a therapist until I became a therapist okay I never even met one so I know there's many people out
6:58
there just like who's never met a therapist you never talked to a therapist you imagine a person with a
7:03
briefcase and a blazer I don't wear I don't have a briefcase and I don't wear Blazers uh normally right so so they're
7:10
a regular normal people who have the training to help you get through whatever it is you're going through and
7:16
so if you haven't met a therapist if you never never spoken to a therapist I would strongly encourage you to reach
7:21
out to one hit me up on Instagram if you have any questions that's David Weber yeahor LPC correct all right listen
7:28
we're going to go to the phone thank you for that David we got and so Tracy once again the question is yeah citizens can
7:34
you relate to living in forgiveness like Chris Rock how is it going for you Jim
7:40
is on the line from California welcome to the show Jim how you doing hey Jim like a stone good morning good morning
7:47
everybody Jim like short for James yes what up Jim how you doing Jim's here give it up what up Jim
7:57
Jim the m the m hold up everybody it's
8:02
Tim oh wow look at s we both wrong yay Tim yo
8:08
we we we just did a we did a whole Soliloquy on your name man that was and you got it
8:15
wrong Tim how you doing but they call me Chi okay I'm from West Hollywood
8:22
chii CH t t TT okay all right TT do you
8:30
love me I love you all Heather be St and it's
8:35
sway we're from the same time era you guys you guys are my role models and I I value and appreciate you so much I'm a
8:42
biracial openly gay man my father is black and uh three quers white one
8:48
quarter black I grew up I looked funny people saw me and they they didn't know how to react so I I got a lot of hate
8:55
throwing at me throughout my whole life and it and it really felt bad I I I I didn't know how to handle it until I got
9:01
you know my 20s and 30s then I finally understood that in order for me to be
9:07
whole in order for me to uh uh feel comfortable and and in and in my own uh
9:14
place in the world I had to realize I have to forgive them because they're doing what they thought they had to do
9:21
and I and and it takes a I think AIT a really strong understanding to know that
9:26
when people they hate and they throw hate and they call you names and they they do the bullying thing they're doing
9:33
what they think they have to do they I can't hold that against them so I
9:38
forgive them imagine if you will standing straight tall and your hands are bald up in a fist forgiveness has a
9:46
lot of uh religious connotations to it we can't blame society we're raised that way to think that forgiveness may have
9:53
you know Bible or something religious to it forgiveness doesn't mean anything like that forgiveness means Tak your
9:59
fists that are baled up in in the side of you and just letting them go it's a process of just letting go for me it was
10:07
taking the the fear the anger and just letting it go can you speak to oh go go okay go
10:15
ahead what what that basically means is that I don't feel the hate towards these
10:21
people who hurt me because I have a a different color skin that I have a bigger nose that's abnormal for a white
10:27
person that my hair was a little kink pinkier than a white person usually is I I have to forgive them so that
10:33
forgiveness is a dichotomy it it's a two-part word it's to it's a healing process to forgive them is to forgive
10:41
myself at the same time it's taking medicine like ingesting Medicine Dr
10:46
Weber I think you understand forgiveness is not just something that we do we we
10:51
always remember it we'll never forget we hope we'll forget but it's about letting go it's about letting them go and
10:58
letting myself go I want a world I want to live in a world of love and peace everybody and to
11:03
become live in that world I have to be a man of love and peace and that means to forgive and I'm free and I'm free wow I
11:13
would like to add thank you Tim for your um for your vulnerability and Sharon um David I would like to add another layer
11:20
to that to add something because I understood everything Tim was saying but I would have to say for me and maybe
11:26
everybody forgives differently but it was much more of a spiritual experience and I had to it was a spiritual thing
11:33
for me um it was my grandmother years ago God Rest her soul who told me that
11:38
once I started to forgive that I would become healthier you know um spiritually
11:45
healthier physically healthier a lot of things mentally healthier and she was
11:51
like you know you have to build your relationship with God and I didn't understand that and I just thought she
11:56
was here She is again throwing his Bible at me but she was right it took me a long time
12:02
to to learn that but she was right and I had to go within and build my relationship so for everyone cuz Tim had
12:09
a different experience with forgiveness mine was much more spiritual but I understand what Tim is saying though if
12:16
that makes sense I understand his route and um but my route for forgiveness I had to seek spiritual um guidance for
12:23
that it was all about rebuilding my relationship with God yeah me too I
12:28
forgiveness doesn't come easily to me I'm being honest with you I'm being 100% honest I'm being too honest
12:34
maybe it doesn't it doesn't come easily particularly when I didn't do nothing to you yes I did nothing to you and you
12:42
have the nerve to do that to me you steal from me Y come on I'm your friend
12:47
come on like why would you do that to me so that's hurtful so watch this so for
12:53
me the forgiveness is not a one-time thing with for the same incident mm I
12:59
forgive you today I may be angry in four days yeah I forgive you again I may be
13:05
angry a week later I forgive you again so every time it comes up I have to re
13:10
forgive you again for the thing so I don't know you know maybe there are
13:16
people who can just forgive you one time and they never think about it again yeah but for me it's going to take me multiple times multiple times multiple
13:23
times add something can I add something Dr Weber something also so this the the
13:30
forgiveness is so important for me in my life you know I work in business but I'm also completing my second Masters in
13:36
Psychology early wow congrats get that man a round of applause let's get it TT yes yes yes two
13:46
years ago I finished my first Master's online Southern New Hampshire University in general psychology I didn't get
13:52
enough so I went back and finished I'm in a second Masters early childhood development I'll graduate the end of
13:57
this year and what that means is that I'm going through all this educational and I'll graduate summa kumla too for a
14:04
biracial man that's a that's a very big accomplishment you're very exceptional
14:11
Tim um Heather wait whoever where you at Tim Tim what city are you
14:16
inw wollywood West Hollywood we all right come up come up man we got 45
14:22
minutes left you want to come up to the show oh wow where are you are you in West
14:27
Hollywood too West Hollywood we're in West Hollywood listen guysa and
14:35
will yes exactly Su Google how how close are you will well
14:42
I'm driving through Beverly Hills on my way to work to West LA right now go get your money yeah another time let me just
14:49
say one thing about the the religious thing about you know believing in God the thing is is that forgiveness can be
14:57
it's a long process listen imagine imag the woman who was raped as a child and she has to carry this anger hurt and all
15:04
these mixed emotions throughout her whole life you know an easy solution would be to forgive but you can't Dr
15:10
Weber is right you just don't forgive in one shot it's not a one shot deal it's a
15:15
absolutely let it go let it go let it go and I could relate to Tim because I've
15:22
had to do a lot of forgiveness myself over the years my partner King Tech and I we we we were so
15:29
y forgave too many people now I mean hang on to some ha excuse me I didn't
15:35
mean that in going a littleit that's counterproductive hea you know but I I
15:42
and Tech and I are totally different well we're very different it's amazing that we we probably have one of the longest running % relationships
15:50
brotherhoods and Hip Hop you know um and I I'm Different I I know like Tim
15:58
the moment I forgive these folks I feel that release I feel the freedom I let it
16:04
go bro yes because if I hold on to it then I'm stuck I'm stagnant in that
16:09
moment you know what I mean and so I've learned to let it go I don't [ __ ] with them no more on that level you know what
16:17
I mean you know I can see them in public and be cool but we don't we don't mes the same necessarily unless you I not
16:26
only am I forgiving I also give people a chance to redeem right um and so but when I
16:32
do go ahead watch your posture when you forgive you'll suddenly maybe stand up a
16:39
little straighter your breathing might be a little bit more regulated healthier true you get healthier you feel free so
16:46
so to the citizens practice that forgiveness see where where it takes you you know and if it doesn't work it
16:52
doesn't work then call call David Weber hey TT you're amazing you got an incredible life you're human being thank
17:00
you for calling okay czen am I citizen a citizen super citizen good morning T God
17:07
bless you oh my gosh I so swe he made me a citizen love you love you too man have
17:14
a great day Hey listen we got so many people on the line Tracy talking about want to talk to that about their story
17:20
of forgiveness let's extend this celebrity wi we got D I would also love to share a practice
17:27
that's helped me with forgiveness too I think it will be useful to the citizens that's next Sway in the Morning Shade 45
17:35
all right Tracy G yes sir powerful topic lines have lit up man Heather be just said I said look at the lines so many
17:41
people calling and you said because this is a topic and a conversation that everyone can relate to
17:49
we're all whether we want to admit it or not or holding on to something yeah and
17:54
this is stemming from Tracy brought up a story about Chris Rock absolutely absolutely and Chris Rock was asked if
18:00
there was any chance he would be a third time host for the Oscars you know following what happened in the past
18:07
where Will Smith in defense of his wife Jada went on stage and assaulted him in
18:13
front of the world to see and he said that he lives in forgiveness and we also
18:18
know that Will Smith is someone who operates with a lot of emotional intelligence and he spoken about his
18:25
process of forgiving himself so there's two forms of forgiv foress that we're highlighting now the Forgiveness of
18:30
others and the Forgiveness of self but they all come from within my man Eddie is in Florida who
18:38
says he chooses to live in forgiveness Eddie talk to us man welcome to the show Eddie's on the line y'all what up Edie
18:44
Ed hey hey hey first time calling man first time
18:50
[Music] calling every day get it wow I get the video and everything
18:58
man yes sir session I know you first generation gamer you know I know you
19:04
played Atari 2600 Eddie oh yeah yeah yes sir yes sir I go way back centipede you
19:10
name it man Gallagher I go way back dck Doug D Doug G Donkey Kong come on let's
19:15
call it well that was Next Generation you Space Invaders yeah
19:21
man all right talk about your your your decision to live in forgiveness what
19:27
caused that well well shout out to Jim and everybody uh who's on the line that's uh you know that's calling up to
19:33
talk about their experience uh m in particular um I spent 12 years as a pastor uh I'm no longer pastoring now
19:40
but not for anything that's terrible or anything of that nature I had to learn how uh as you know as Pastor I'm not
19:46
sure if anyone know but as a pastor is a very stressful job um and you know you deal with so many opinions about your
19:53
job and same thing all those things I was very young at the time um when I started being a pastor and I had not
19:58
learned on the process of forgiveness whenever uh a congregation a member or
20:05
would challenge me things that nature I had not learned uh how to let that go when it happened to me and so I held
20:11
they didn't know I held on to it but I held on to it uh for a long time to it was really starting to affect not only
20:17
myself but it was affecting my family and everybody around me but I was conscious enough conscious enough to
20:22
catch it um at the time and so I went and sought therapy for it um okay and and and therapy has been awesome for me
20:30
um learning how to forgive um and stay in that realm of forgiving um has been
20:35
great for my mental health guys I had to let you know I had I'm I won my job I had to stop mowing the yard just so I
20:41
can get off the riding law more to talk to you so just well well listen man just in theme we forgive you for your
20:47
horrible connection but go ahead continue oh my you know what that might be because I
20:53
got these uh these noise cancelling headphones on that might be what it is okay no no problem I'm just in brother
20:58
go ahead continue yeah yeah I know you I've been listening to you I've been listen to you for a while busing people balls man I got
21:06
you hello let me back off the mic go ahead about what saying David I I I love
21:12
that you talked about therapy and how that and how that uh helped you uh as it relates to forgiveness what I would want
21:18
to know is was there something specific the therapist did or talked about that helped you or was it just being able to
21:23
talk about those things no it was just actually me being able to pour out and
21:29
her actually listening um and matter of fact I think uh in our conversation along the way she heard um that that I
21:36
had already started the process of learning how to do it a lot better and I fell in love with the process of doing
21:42
not only the process I just fell in love with forgiving um and how good it felt because you know when you're in that uh
21:48
particular environment where um your body just not acting right your mind is not right because of the unforgiveness
21:54
it's it's a feeling you're off think you're chemically off balance um a little bit and so it just didn't feel
22:01
good for me on the inside it didn't feel good for me in my mental space um and once I've learned I learned how to
22:06
forgive and do a lot of other great things um then I became a totally different person and that different
22:11
person that has been good for my family my marriage of 23 years even stronger than it's ever been before uh my
22:17
relationship with my children was always was great has been um better than it always uh is always was already was
22:23
great it's even that much greater because I learned how to forgive and get my mental um space um situated and
22:29
better and so I'm grateful for for all of that man and you know so shout out to Chris Rock for that living in
22:35
forgiveness I haven't always done it but for the last four years that's what I live in forgiveness because I know it's
22:41
better for me and my love my love state do you wow so I'm thinking about what
22:46
you said and thank you for sharing David do you think sometimes when someone does something to you and you you're
22:52
challenged with this well you have this opportunity to forgive do you have to look back at yourself and say what part
22:58
do without playing this man you are absolutely I actually wrote that down on my phone there are some things I've
23:05
done that were unintentional I didn't mean to do it I didn't even know I did
23:11
it that's why I'm asking y yeah cuz sometimes people are upset with you for things you don't even know you did like
23:16
you walked in the room you say what's up to me my bad I was on my phone I didn't even know you walked in the room right
23:21
and people be upset with you about things that you have no idea about so um
23:27
you bring up a great also to um as much as I need to work on forgiving people I
23:34
also need forgiveness from other people um I've done some I've done some things in my life man that was trifling
23:39
especially in my 20s and 30s in relationships and stuff like that I was trif life you know I mean Super trifling
23:46
some things I've done and so that helps me a little bit when I think about all the things I've done to people um just
23:52
being immature and silly and stupid and whatever else I was at that time of my life and so so and and and asking for
24:00
forgiveness uh from those people um I remember in high school I wrote uh After High School I wrote a letter to this
24:05
person that I used to just tease for no reason um to make my friends laugh and so I used to just tease her for
24:12
absolutely no reason at all I had to write her a letter and say I'm sorry I apologize I was wrong I was trifling I'm
24:18
immature had nothing to do with you I just wanted people to laugh and so whatever had to do to make people laugh is what I did um and I was sorry for
24:25
that so there's a lot of people I've harmed myself yeah and my life but still it's interesting when people harm you
24:31
it's really hard to let go but when you harm someone else it's like man I'm sorry you expect them to forgive you so
24:37
quickly they may not always receive that you know they may not be where you are and want to forgive you but it's still
24:43
important that you wrote that letter right did she respond she did she did she responded she was so gracious and
24:49
kind to me uh I was not deserving of her kindness if I'm being honest with you there's this other person in middle
24:55
school I used to tease for no reason again there like maybe grade or something like that and I never could
25:00
find him um to tell him I was sorry but it that wore on me for years about how I
25:06
affected his life by just teasing him in the fifth grade just being again being a silly little kid not knowing the effects
25:11
you're having on other people but the things you say to people at your job the things you say to people within your
25:16
family man it has effects it has effects on them and so watch your words with people encourage people don't tear them
25:23
down like I did man I was wrong and I'm sorry if anyone I've ever talked to Crazy in my life from my past
25:29
friendships relationships whatever it may be man I apologize to all of y'all I I'm you know I I was in a bad space man
25:35
wow man get that around I know Chris CH H hisn right now Chris Chris honking his
25:41
horn right now try to say Chris hon H go ahead Eddie uh just just just quickly
25:47
and thank you uh Dr Weber for that U but but that's true but what one of the things I learned um I I've sought out
25:54
forgiveness for some of the things I've done from people I have not always gotten it uh what so but once I made the
26:00
the um the decision to ask for forgiveness even though I didn't get it I was just happy the fact I made that
26:05
attempt to get that forgiveness and I I was settled with that because I realized I done my part to get that forgiveness
26:11
maybe one day they will maybe one day they won't who knows but I'm okay with the fact that I reached out to say hey
26:16
I'm sorry I apologize if I've done anything you don't have to forgive me for it but if you do that's good if you
26:21
don't I'm good at where I'm at right now there you go hey Addy man we really appreciate you calling in man Welcome to
26:27
the man appreciate yes sir thank you man thank you sir super citizen super
26:33
citizen man apprciate that man I wear with honor thank you sir thank you man
26:39
have a great day go ahead Tracy yo um David let me admit a quick pet peeve with you and that is when someone is
26:48
apologizing to you and they say I apologize if I offended instead to me it
26:55
feels like it creates a little bit of space a buffer between them and full
27:00
accountability because it's like we all know that I was offended you know why
27:06
not apologize for offending me for hurting the feelings um do those little
27:12
tweaks in language matter or am I taking something small and making it big no
27:18
you're 100% right if if I'm indeed sorry for what I did there is no if I hurt you
27:24
yeah I know I hurt you doubt I know what I did what I'm and you mentioned you used a great word buffering there's some
27:31
distancing between me and what I did so I use language to distance myself from
27:37
having full accountability for what I did so hey I'm sorry if I hurt you I apologize if I offend no listen I know
27:44
what I did was wrong and trifling I'm sorry for what I did is there any way I can make up for that may not be what do
27:51
you need from me how can I make things right do you need space do you need like what do you need from me um is is a real
27:59
apology at the same time um if we're expecting a real apology from people who've hurt us often times we don't get
28:06
that great great Point great question Tracy we have cole on the line from Michigan Cole welcome to the show Cole
28:13
love that new joint baby no that's not jcole that that that that's just Cole
28:18
Trac oh okay okay dang I got hype okay love you too Cole I need you to speak up a little on your phone I'm not sure what
28:24
I'm hearing right now Co you go is that sound better I took off speaker oh man that's amazing
28:32
bro way whole brain relaxed oh my God forgive you for being on speaker all
28:38
right talk to us Cole um I'm I'm still a work in progress
28:44
but uh I was molested when I was six and um it wasn't even as much about
28:49
forgiving the other person but uh just forgiven myself
28:54
wow yeah and it's it's still at work I mean I'm mhm go ahead but but uh usually
29:01
and children are when that happens and and God bless you I'm sorry to hear that happen yeah it's usually somebody
29:07
obviously it's somebody you know um typically it's a family member that you got to live with beyond that and a kid
29:13
is living in trauma fear you know and a lot of times people don't listen to the kid when they say uncle so and so did
29:19
this to me right exactly what was what was your Dynamic Cole in this if you don't mind sharing yeah absolutely um it was an
29:26
older family member an old cousin and uh it it even like it even came out in the family and um you know
29:35
my my parents and his parents they tried to deal with it and it nothing never
29:41
really happened and I I'm not mad at them because I know that they they didn't have the tools to be able to deal
29:47
with a situation like that so I don't have any like bad feelings toward like my aunt and uncle and my mom and dad
29:54
because they didn't they didn't understand so it they thought we were they thought it was like gayness and and
30:01
I was I was too afraid to talk about it and so it never really came out and uh
30:07
the thing that I feel the worst about was man that guy went on to work at a daycare and I I hold a lot I hold a lot
30:15
of really I I didn't know what I could do about it because it was years after the
30:20
fact and um I still that that one still [ __ ] me
30:25
up a lot even more than uh the thing happening himself was knowing that man
30:31
he might have went on to hurt other people but you were a child right how
30:37
old were you yeah I was six six years old yeah there's nothing you could have
30:43
done at 6 years old the the people who were supposed to
30:49
protect you did not protect you in other words it's not your fault at all for
30:57
what happened to you we're talking about a six-year-old a six-year old yeah so when
31:04
you have a six-year-old violated there are a lot of adults that were around
31:09
that that that knew something saw something something was off something wasn't right and they didn't protect you
31:15
that is not your fault in any way shape or form that is not your fault there are
31:21
many stories I hear of people being molested um from from family members and
31:27
they blame the themselves and I could have done this differently or maybe I should have told my you're six or you're
31:33
nine or you're 12 you're a kid and so as a kid there's only so much
31:39
you can do it's the responsibility of the parents to protect the children let
31:45
me say this too to all the families out there I don't want to get emotional to
31:51
all the families out there who Harbor people in your own family because you
31:56
don't want Uncle so and so going back to prison and you know what they're doing to the children shame on you you all
32:03
know what's going on in that family you know what's going on in the family and y'all protect and harbor Predators
32:10
within the own family within your own family because of reputation and we don't want the community or the family
32:16
or people knowing about Uncle so and so so everyone hides it so that all of you people adults who have been molested or
32:23
raped as children and your parents or your grandparents or your uncles and aunts hit it hit it from the rest of the
32:30
family or hit it from the authorities that is not your fault that's their fault they're wrong they are wrong 100%
32:38
wrong and it's not something you should you should carry when when I listen Cole I want to say thank you because you're
32:44
already doing work by telling your story on this platform where there's hundreds
32:50
of thousands of people tuned in who who are going through have gone through the same thing that you have and so I want
32:56
to say uh salute to you for sharing this story and I can hear the pain is still in you and I want to ask David when I
33:03
hear Cole say um man I feel bad cuz this guy went on to work at a daycare the the
33:09
his sins are not your burden correct number one his sins are not your burden
33:15
you you know whatever that guilt is that he may that he may feel what would you say to Cole about that man Cole listen
33:23
if if you can man I I would like to personally help you hit me up on Instagram David Weber LPC I'm going get
33:31
you some resources in your area um I I would love to hook you up with a therapist if you're not in the states
33:37
that I'm licensed um if you are the states I'm licensed I'll do it myself but I I want to get you um some help
33:42
because it's not your fault and you're carrying something that does not belong to you you're carrying something that
33:50
does not belong to you that belongs to him that
33:57
belongs to him that's his sins that's his trifling that belongs to him it does not belong to you I want to get you the
34:03
help that you need let's get this information are you are you interested in that call would you receive that yes
34:08
100% um I was about to write down um like your Instagram and everything amen
34:14
please do I I'll give you I'll give you a call today David Weber LPC and we'll
34:19
figure this thing out together and then Lonnie like got your phone number we're going to make sure uh David Weber has your information okay wow all right Cole
34:28
I really appreciate you man you family Cole you know Cole
34:35
thank you because when I listen to cold talk David it it's so interesting because as a woman we hear so many of
34:42
our girlfriends or um female family members talk about molestation you know
34:51
but it just sounds so different when it's coming from a male yeah it just does and I can't imagine a man who have
34:58
experienced this how how as an adult or even a teenager or a young man in the
35:04
20s move forward in relationships healthy relationships what could that possibly do to you to know that you were
35:11
violated as a child and as six or seven or nine or 12 the ages that you mentioned you don't even really know how
35:18
to tell on some like that person or that Predator could have said if you tell
35:23
such and such and such or your mind will start to think well if I do this or if I do that then maybe people protect their
35:31
their their Predator you know it's you know it's a lot of men who are dealing with that can you speak to some of the
35:37
men who may be dealing with that do you think it has an effect on their relationships moving forward a
35:42
absolutely uh shame is is there's a difference between shame and guilt and beray brown talks about this guilt is I
35:50
did something bad shame is I am bad so shame is like you're internalizing
35:56
something as you being not good enough you being not worthy and so when you
36:02
carry the shame of someone touching you or someone molesting you whatever it may be that's a hard story to tell and so
36:09
she talks about shame needs secrecy and silence in order for it to grow and so
36:14
when I don't talk about it when I don't tell anyone about it the shame grows and so now in this area that I'm dealing
36:21
with as it relates to to being touched or molested by someone else I don't talk about it I don't share my story with my
36:27
friends no one else knows about it and so that shame grows more and more and more and it yes it absolutely affects me
36:34
in my in my relationships and my friendships and everything else and I'm blaming myself for something I didn't do
36:40
that was a grown adult doing that to you that had nothing to do with you right right and then you're right they they'll
36:46
do things like they'll threaten you right your mom's going go to jail or your dad's going go to jail or I'm going to kill them they say all types of stuff
36:53
I'm gonna kill your dad I'll kill your mom I'll kill you if you tell somebody threatening a six or seven year old and
36:59
saying I'm gonna kill you you know how terrified that is they living in a nightmare yeah right and so and and and
37:05
then and so for that for those children who are now adults who've exper and children even now who are experiencing
37:11
those things you're just doing your best with the information that you have what information does a six-year-old have all
37:17
they know is you know my parent maybe or my grandparent is that a safe place to share and sometimes it may not be safe
37:24
or sometimes you go to your mom and she says be quiet talk about that yeah and that's the age where you like Secrets
37:30
believe it or not like you know you like the secret I'm I have a secret and they they play to that you know that not
37:37
knowing and and and lastly how confusing is it for a child
37:42
for those children who've experienced something sexual and they sort of kind of it feels
37:50
okay they're not sure they don't know because it's confusing no one's supposed to be touching listen no one's supposed
37:56
to touch a six 8 9 12 15 you're not supposed to touch them at all so when someone touches you and suddenly that
38:02
feels decent or okay or you kind of like it that's confusing and so now I'm blaming myself
38:09
because I like something that I was never supposed to know existed at that age and you know it's wrong and you know
38:15
it's wrong but then he's telling you it's not wrong like anyway it's it's as you can tell get me fired up I hear so
38:22
many sto and particularly from men oh my goodness the shame is unbelievable hey
38:28
Co Cole thank you brother you're a Healer you healing through you healing others through your healing definitely
38:34
we got your information and I would love for you and David Weber to connect brother all right absolutely thank you
38:41
guys I love you guys we love you love you too brother you a citizen s in the morning man listen we got a lot of
38:47
people on the phone lines Alfred in Arizona Boris Angel and Nebraska Jonathan and Cali Kirk San Diego Donald
38:54
in Texas Casey in Atlanta Kent in Canada all of these people have stories to tell we're going to send them to our email
39:01
Tracy G where can they hit us at yes citizens the email is always available to you at every hour whether it's 8:00
39:07
am or 8:00 pm sway inthe morning love atgmailcom sway inth morning love
39:14
atgmailcom there is no word count that email will not expire so feel free to
39:20
share your stories there Tracy thank you for that celebrity Warrior y'all can hit her up directly yeah no problem citizens
39:26
hit me up at Tracy g i TS t r a c y g coming right back in shave 45 let me say
39:34
this man total transparency man this dude flies himself to where we are yeah you know he don't ask for you don't ask
39:40
me for anything just the opportunity to talk to y'all uh so I want to say I appreciate that man you you spent a lot
39:47
of time to study your profession and you spent a lot of money to get you know degreed and everything and so for you to
39:52
offer this to the citizens like this it's amazing yeah man he's not even sending inv voices yeah till after the
39:59
first session real s d at real sway on the gram what to send an invoice wait a
40:07
minute hold on Sway in the Morning no love at gmail.com
40:14
no you know what hea yeah I forgive you Heather I forgive
40:19
you Tracy all right great David Weber how can I reach you again please reach out to me at David Weber that's wbb rore
40:27
LPC um on Instagram I'm going hit you up today um as soon as I get back to the crib so please hit me up today that's